Bedtime is done. Toys are put away. Bottles are prepped.
You finally collapse into bed… but your brain? Still running through tomorrow’s to-do list like it’s a never ending TikTok feed.
If this sounds familiar, you’re probably carrying the “mental load” and it’s one of the biggest reasons parents feel exhausted all the time, even when they’ve technically “rested.”
What Exactly Is the Mental Load?
It’s all the invisible thinking, planning, and remembering that keeps your household (and kids) running.
It’s:
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Remembering it’s picture day at school
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Keeping track of the diaper stash
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Knowing which snacks your toddler loves (before they suddenly hate them)
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Scheduling doctor’s check-ups
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Thinking about dinner while helping with homework
Most of this isn’t written down anywhere and it lives in your head. That’s the problem.
Why Parents Feel It So Heavily
Parenting isn’t just doing things, it’s constantly anticipating needs. Unlike an office job, there’s no “clock out” button.
You can be:
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Cooking dinner while mentally planning the grocery run
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At work wondering if daycare has enough spare clothes for your toddler
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Trying to rest but thinking about whether the next size of baby clothes is ready
The mental load means your brain is always on, even when your body is resting.
Signs You’re Carrying Too Much Mental Load
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You feel guilty sitting down
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Your mind is never blank, even during “relaxation”
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You’re always multitasking mentally
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You can’t shake the feeling you’ve forgotten something
If you’re nodding to all of these… you’re not alone.
How to Lighten the Mental Load (and Actually Breathe)
1. Write It Down and Share It
Don’t keep all the lists in your head. Use a shared calendar, notes app, or a family whiteboard so your partner (or other caregivers) can see what’s coming up.
2. Automate What You Can
Save your brain for the important stuff. Set reminders for things like paying school fees or registering for vaccinations. Keep a standing grocery list for the basics you buy every week so you’re not starting from scratch each time.
3. Batch the Boring Stuff
Instead of checking the kids’ wardrobes every other day, pick one weekend a month to sort clothes, restock essentials, and replace worn out items. Do the same for snacks, or school supplies.
4. Create Grab-and-Go Systems
Have pre-packed diaper bags, snack boxes, and bedtime kits ready so you’re not mentally re-packing from scratch every day.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Let the Small Stuff Go
The floor can stay unvacuumed for a day. Your baby won’t remember dust bunnies, but they will remember cuddles.
You’re Not Meant to “Do It All”
The mental load is real, but it doesn’t have to crush you. Share it. Write it down. Simplify wherever possible.
Parenting is already the most important job you’ll ever have, don’t make it harder by carrying the entire household in your head.
